It’s almost annoying how religiously this theory works! The best part is that you look good, feel better, and even teach others the value of a kind word. Most of us are programmed to fit a certain social profile where it’s not ok to freak out on another person, even when you really want to. So if you can remember the advice from the mothers before you of “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” then you can always have a leg up in a disagreement!
How does this make me look good? When anyone loses their temper they end up looking like a cranky 2 year old. Hopefully they’re not throwing themselves on the ground kicking and screaming but regardless, they look ridiculous! Funny how they also need to be handled the same way as a temper tantrum throwing toddler. Wow! That was a tongue twister!
“I think it’s odd that grown-ups quarrel so easily and so often and about such petty matters. Up to now I always thought bickering was just something children did and that they outgrew it.”
When you are the quiet and calm party in a discussion you have automatically won, because all the negative attention goes straight to the one demanding it. It’s also much easier to solve the problem when you’re listening to what the actual problem is. The other perk to this quiet moment is that the other party generally disarms themselves with their own obnoxious voice.
How does this make me feel better? The definition of kindness is the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. That made me feel better just reading it! So put yourself in their shoes and consider how this over actor (or actress) feels, whether just or unjust. Sometimes, that’s all they need. For others, they just like to ruffle feathers. So let them and take it with a grain of salt. You listen, you sympathize, you try to help, and then you walk away knowing you did everything you could while maintaining a pleasant attitude. Nice job! You should feel great that you might better their life and future relationships. (One can wish, right?!?)
How can I teach others the value of a kind word? People want to be cared about and treated with respect. So do just that and you will feel like you actually helped someone with more than just the problem at hand. Hopefully you help them learn that acting like a brat is not beneficial to anyone especially themselves. Kindness is contagious! And most of the time, you don’t see the effects of it right away but know that you make a difference every time you put these tricks to work!
You can get a better picture of this theory in the work place by reading…