Isn’t marriage such a wonderful thing? You find your soul mate and become one, under God, to live happily ever after in the suburbs. Ha! Ha! Ya right! Marriage is a wonderful thing, when tended to like a newborn baby!
Devoting your life to someone is a lot of work! Of course you must have a strong interest in this someone and want their life long company. And trust me… though you will both grow and change, the original person you either did or did not fall madly in love with will always be there. Don’t expect to wake up with a prince if you took home a donkey!
We all work really hard when it comes to dating.
Think about it, we had to make sure we were always looking and smelling our best with good conversation and fun atmosphere. We were conscious of setting up those romantic moments that lead to a deeper relationship. Never rushing into anything, taking it slow and letting it sizzle! Wow! Sorry… got a little spicy there! But that’s what was so exciting about those early days… they were spicy!
So what changed? Now that your married and together all the time your spending that creative brainstorming on other priorities. Which is saddening at times but totally normal. Major life changes always come along…
Well don’t fear! I’ve got a solution to those marry-time blues.. Dancing!
Please don’t try to drag your partner out to your favorite Zumba class, I’m talking about good old-fashioned Ballroom dancing. Though it’s not old-fashioned at all, Ballroom dancing is straight up marriage insurance. Just in case something catastrophic happens, you’ve got a safety net. Something keeping you together . This type of dancing is not always an easy thing to learn but that’s why there are hundreds of organizations to help.
You may be thinking ya right, my partner wont have anything to do with this, but you are most likely wrong.
Dancing is primal, and in all of us. All animals have their mating ritual which is often a series of movements or… DANCE. And who’s the one doing the majority of the moovin’ & groovin’??? The Male! In ballroom you have a leader and a follower, and these roles are very dependent on one another. If the leader is not confident in his movement, the follower loses trust and stops dancing. This is exactly the same general idea of what happens in a marriage pre-divorce.
So this is where the dance lessons come in. Learning to dance is a bit awkward at first but that’s part of the fun too. Being vulnerable is a way to create intimacy. Learning something new together is also a way to break out of the normal old routine and learn something new about each other. I do highly recommend taking lessons from a trained professional versus trying to teach yourselves off YouTube.
When it comes to a new language or dance, imagine you speak Chinese and your partner speaks Romanian. You wont be able to understand each other without an interpreter… a.k.a. your dance instructor.
So how to get your partner to participate. It’s actually really easy… Just paint them a picture! Explain to them that learning to dance means having their hands all over you while your bodies cuddle up close on a dance floor listening to their favorite music. That’s right… you can learn a dance to any kind of music so don’t be shy on telling your teacher your likes and dislikes. And don’t shy away from a little liquid courage either. It takes the edge off and helps most of us loosen up.
I have personally had my life changed through this wonderful pastime and I hope you too can benefit from the experience of dancing with your significant other.
Here’s a quick reference of what music goes with what dance/style:
Now you have no excuse! Give it a try. I bet you wont regret it!